Satan is in Las Vegas disgusied as a cocktail waitress

The next day (Thursday), my co-workers and I were privileged enough to witness the flood that comes to Las Vegas once every 100 years. Basically, Vegas gets about 4 inches of rain each year, and we got 3 inches of that in 3 hours. This wouldn't be so bad for a normal city, but considering that Vegas is located at the bottom of a basin, it floods like crazy. Thursday night came and I made plans to meet up with Jamie. Friday was the only day that we were off from the conference, so I could stay out a little later. To start off the night, Chris, Phil and I went out for drinks at the Voodoo Lounge which sits on the top of the Rio hotel (building pictured to the left), 55 stories above Las Vegas, with a fantastic view of the entire skyline. We stayed for a few drinks and then headed back to the hotel. Jamie called me up at about 10 and asked if I was in any shape to drive. I said I was and she told me to meet her in front of the hotel in 5 minutes. When she got there, I opened the driver door and she nearly fell out. She stumbled to the passenger side and fell in. I started driving. As I'm going down Las Vegas boulevard, packed with cars, at about 30 mph, she leaned over the center console and began to kiss me. Whoa. Hey, I'm trying to drive here. I told her that I needed to meet an old fraternity brother of mine at a bar called "The Drink" if at all possible. She said that would be possible, but that she needed to meet people at "Hard Rock Bar" first. No prob. We met up with her friends, Jason, Kat and Mark. Jason was an ex of hers from years ago, and Kat and Mark were friends of Jasons. The 5 of us headed to "The Drink". Mark headed inside to see if it was worth the $10 cover, and I headed in to find my fraternity brother in case we decided not to stay. By the time I got back outside 5 minutes later, they had gone in. The only people I could find were Kat and Mark who were pissed that Jamie and Jason had gone off somewhere. After looking for 20 minutes for them, I called her cell phone and she was outside. Turns out she was out there 'fighting' with Jason. About what she couldn't say. Whatever. She said she'd be back in 15 minutes. By this time, my fraternity brother had to leave and I didn't get to see him for more than a minute. He said he'd be at RumJungle on Saturday night and we'd meet up then.

When Jamie finally made it back in to the bar, she asked where the heck I'd been. I was looking for you, remember? Anyway, she asked if I wanted to drink or leave. I said drink and she agreed. As soon as we ordered drinks, they were set on the bar and she said "Lets leave". Hang on, we *just* ordered drinks, and you want to leave? now? So we try to finish the drinks but barley do, and head out. She was in no condition to drink much more and I was getting pissed off at this girl. We decided to head home. I wanted to get dropped off at my hotel, but this presented 2 problems. First, she couldn't stay there, as she was a hotel employee, and she'd lose her job. Secondly, if she dropped me off, she'd be in no shape to drive home, 15 minutes away. I decided to drive her home. She was out in an area where a cab would be nearly impossible to get, and a $40 ride if I did. So I stayed. In the morning, I had her drive me back.

The next night, I wanted to do something else. Something crazy. When Jamie called my hotel (now staying at the Hard Rock Hotel), I picked up the phone (wish I had caller ID to prevent these things), and I asked her what she was doing. She said in a very obvious tone "Hanging out with you, remember?" She was holding me to the arrangement we made when we first met. Darn. Well, then again, when she was sober, she seems tolerable, so what the heck we'll give it a shot.

We agree to meet at Club RA. There had been a cute hotel receptionist that told me she would be there earlier, so I suggested going there. How I was going to handle trying to talk with the girl from reception while going with someone else, I didn't know, but I decided to handle that if/ when it presented itself. We get to RA and theres a line with 80 to 100 people, and Jamie was waiting next to the line. I asked if she was ready to go in and she replied "I don't wait in lines". Hmm. I suggested that we take a seat at the bar nearby and then figure what we were going to do. I told her I really wanted to go in RA. She said, "I don't wait in lines". My theory is that if it has a line, its a good bar. She said, "Here, give me $20, I don't have my purse with me". I told her it wasn't worth $20 to skip the line. She walked off anyway (without a dime), and came back in a minute and said "Come on, we're in". Sure enough, we go to the front of the line and we're in. No idea how she pulled it off.

Once inside we get a couple drinks and sit at a table. A couple girls ask if the other chairs at the table are taken and ask to sit down. A few minutes later, I ask Jamie if shes in the mood for dancing. She said sure and we went to the dance floor. I was in the mood to jig. Once I get the mood to dance, theres no stopping me. Well, Jamie tried. I need space when I wreck shop on the dance floor and get my swerve on. She was trying to hang all over me. It was annoying. Like a fly that keeps around your face, that you cant get to go away, but you cant seem to kill it either. I kept pushing her away. Finally, she came up to me and whispered in my ear, "Lets get out of here, go to your hotel and [insert adult phrase here]". Now, I'm not a prude or anything, but this isn't my style. I said, I'm not ready to leave, and that I wanted to dance for a while. She said that she was leaving now and I could come or stay. See ya. I didn't even look back as she walked out. I was much more thrilled with the idea of an evening of unknowns than an evening with a bitch.

I danced for a bit and headed back to my table and asked the 2 girls there if anyone was sitting there. They looked confused and said they thought I was sitting there. I went through the entire sordid story. They found it amusing. I talked and danced with them for about 2 hours until I spied someone with glowsticks. Glowsticks are very popular with the techno-rave community, and I figured this would be a good person to meet. I went up to her and asked her if she knew where I could find better music to dance to. Her reply was classic, "I know, the music here sucks". Her name was Alexis. We ended up going to the area in the back where the guy was selling glowsticks. I bought a few. We asked him where there was better music to dance to, and him and another guy standing there said in unison, "Utopia". The other guys name was Jason, and he said he was headed to Utopia in about a half an hour if we wanted to come. Perfect - 3 people who didn't know each other from a bar of soap, headed to a club.

Utopia was one of the funnest clubs I've seen in my life. If you've seen pictures of Ibiza (the Europrean paradise party island), thats what this club reminded me of. There were people painted silver, there were fire-breathers, there were people in elaborate costumes, in drag, people that looked like hookers, people of all gender-mixes making out sporadically, and just your general wackyness. The music was top notch DJ'ing. Very progressive trance/techo type of stuff. The lights and the inside of the club was also an amazing set up. The whole thing was awesome. Jason told me that it gets even better on Saturday night. I agreed to meet him and Alexis back there the next night, and headed out.